Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
