If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize