So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
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