so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
