i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I think your dad took our porno
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
