it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
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