Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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