I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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