I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I pour the whiskey from now on
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
