I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize