remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
