Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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