5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
