I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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