can u get pink eye on your cock?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
