I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize