in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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