New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize