names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
