She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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