yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
