Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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