Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
A+ Viking dick
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
