Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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