I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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