he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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