Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
