Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
