Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
we made out on top of his cat.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
