You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
