You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
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I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
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My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
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