Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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