you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
