Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
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