seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
