Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
im calling her cock vulture from now on
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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