omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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