Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
