Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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