I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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