I want to have your abortion
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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