Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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