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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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