is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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