please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
