No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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