I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
