think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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