Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize