i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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