Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
