I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I can't trust your balls anymore.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
