she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
