who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize