I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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