Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
