i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize