i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
a search helicopter?!
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
